If you’re an educated deaf person living in a small Deaf Community, you become well known quickly. And here where I live, in the same place where I grew up, I’m definitely a familiar face and name to many. This can cause some socially awkward moments though. I’m sure many of my fellow v/bloggers, especially those from Deaf families can empathize with me over this…
I was out at a fund raising event the other night, and I saw a group of women come in, and several were familiar faces, but one woman had such striking eyes that it captured my attention from across the room. Later that evening, a colleague of mine sat down with them, and I know I shouldn’t do this, but I’m too shy to randomly chat up complete strangers without some kind of introduction, so I took advantage of the opportunity and headed over there.
As I hoped, my colleague introduced me to the group, but he then also mentioned who my mother was, which was kind of inappropriate in that setting. One of the women said, “I know who you are. Good to see you again.”
Right. And I have no clue who this woman is. I’ve seen her at events before, but we have never talked, ever. It’s easy for people to remember who the deaf person is, especially someone like me and my colleague, because we’re well-educated and can carry on intellectual conversations. But that doesn’t mean just because they know who we are, also means we know who they are!
So I just smiled politely at her, unsure how to get her to introduce herself. Fortunately for me, or so I thought, the woman with the striking eyes then says, “Oh I’ve heard you and your mom’s names before. I’ve heard good things.”
“Which one of us?”I inquired. After all, both of us are well-known and in fact, I used to be known as her daughter. People would say my name and others would go, ‘Huh?’ then they would say, ‘She’s Celeste’s daughter.” An exclamation would usually follow, and I would be welcomed with open arms. *shakes head*
Though due to my activism that’s changed, fortunately. People no longer need to know who my mother is, to know who I am. A new twist appeared, however, by me asking that question, which turned this into an even more awkward situation. The eyes that were so captivating, narrowed just slightly, clearly a bit confused by the question. With a polite smile she said, “Your mom.”
….. *clears throat* ….. Only after that uncomfortable pause, proper introductions were finally made. *shakes head again*
And some of my friends wonder why I’m usually ill at ease at large social gatherings!
September 11, 2008 at 7:03 am
Well, maybe the next generation will be your turn.
Everywhere I go, someone knows my mom / dad / older brothers.
“I know your brother”.
Oh.
September 11, 2008 at 7:50 am
I doubt it - one woman and the striking eyes woman looked about my age, The third woman looked like she was in her late 30’s or early 40’s.
The only way I can escape this kind of thing is to move out of Michigan.
September 11, 2008 at 11:26 am
Unfortunately that comes with the territory of becoming well known. As time goes on, you will become more well-known and these awkward moments will become less frequent.
Also practice often makes it easier to handle people with different social skills. With time, you may become more fluid and can ease easily the awkwardness between you and the other party
September 11, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Ouch! That’d hurt! Gee, that is really very awkward with everyone involved even though that person may not be aware how hard and awkward is it for other person on the other side of fence. That would be great if your colleague or friend would have to warn others in advance. But that won’t be easy though. I’ve had my friends or collagues warn them ahead not to mention so-so, that would be fine but sometimes on other hand the curiosity would satisfy them.
What can you do? Move out of Michigan? LOL! Nahhh….all you can do is “My mom is fine, thank you, ok, ohhhh, what do you think of this wine?” would divert their attention toward other new subject. Sometimes that may be a trick.
Misha
September 11, 2008 at 6:55 pm
*chuckles* It certainly wasn’t an ego booster. And quite honestly, my colleague and I do not get along that well… so… I’m not going to tell him not to do that, or else he’ll turn around and do the opposite.
Guess I just need to swig some wine and get over my shyness, so I can be smoother in those situations.