Over 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents. This is one of the most quoted statistics in the literature regarding deaf children today.

Another oft-quoted fact is that, for the majority of hearing parents, their child’s deafness is the first experience they have had with the issue of hearing loss. Understandably, this creates a sense of anxiety for the parents as they search for answers. Fortunately, there are ample resources available that can be accessed to educate the parents about deafness.

Or is this truly fortunate? There is so much information available that it is all too easy to feel overwhelmed. Both the medical and cultural perspectives of deafness have their supporters and detractors. For the parents who are seeking that one definitive answer, that "key" that will solve the mystery of the "best" way to raise their child, the end result may instead be feelings of panic and despair. Add to that external pressures from well-meaning professionals, other family members, and friends, each with their own perspective on how a deaf child "should" be raised, and it is not difficult to comprehend why many parents become frustrated.

There was a wonderful statement in a research article that I read some time ago. It said that deafness in and of itself does not impact the social and emotional development of an individual. What has the most impact (both positive and negative) is the attitudes of others.

Children receive their first impressions of themselves and the world from their parents.

What message are we sending to our children? Are we sending the message that they’re somehow not "right" and must be "fixed"? Are we subtly encouraging an "us versus them" mentality where deafness becomes a reason to mistrust those who can hear? Or are we planting seeds for future success and happiness by actively communicating with them and letting them know, through our actions and words that "you’re deaf and that’s OK"?

Notice that I did not write, "You’re deaf BUT that’s OK." That sends the message that they have worth IN SPITE OF their deafness. No, we want them to know, feel, and believe that they are cherished simply for being themselves.

Deaf? That’s OK.

Hard of hearing? That’s OK.

Cochlear implant? That’s OK.

One of the most memorable emails I have ever received came about three months ago. A mother of an eleven-year old girl with a cochlear implant shared this story with me. Her daughter received her cochlear implant when she was four. When she was eight, she was being interviewed by researchers and they wanted to know whether she considered herself deaf or hearing.

The young lady simply shrugged her shoulders and said, "I’m just me."

YES!

At eight years old, she is already showing signs of a secure identity. Whether she decides to associate with the hearing or deaf world is irrelevant. She is who she is and knows it.

"You’re deaf and that’s OK." Spread the message!