Join LaRonda as she describes how online flirtation is used as a universal language that allows d/Deaf/HH/Late-Deafened/Hearing people to cross the cultural divide, become quickly familiar, and successfully communicate.
When we think of people who flirt, we usually think of people with the intent of entering an intimate contact relationship. However, there are a lot of people out there who use flirting as a way to learn and practice communication skills that will bring forth healthy, social interaction. At Yahoo! Live/DeafRead, an online social network where deafies hang out, flirting appears to be a comfortable communication strategy used by d/Deaf, hard of hearing, late-deafened and hearing people who want to interact with each other.
There are social rules for how to behave in certain situations with Deaf, Hard of Hearing or Hearing people. Not knowing these rules can make developing friendships with each other challenging. But flirting seems to make it easier, especially when we’re new to the community, nervous, or don’t know what to say.
With flirtation, there is a subtle, rhythmical, and playful exchange — back and forth — a synchronization between two or more people. It’s a game we play where the normal rules of social interaction are bent. Flirting is sometimes a comfortable strategy for getting closer to others. It is a universal language that allows d/Deaf/HH/Late-Deafened/Hearing people to cross the cultural divide, become quickly familiar, and successfully communicate.
One of the most fascinating flirting laboratories is the digital world. Yahoo! Live/DeafRead, for example, is a social video-network that allows one to see people use sign language communication, body language or text messages. In this venue, flirting is often bolder, racier and done with greater speed. People are often more willing to disclose personal or intimate details via the Internet, and flirting as a social communication process escalates more quickly.
Flirting is said to be the the rocket-fuel which drives much of the interest in online social-networking sites. However, for deafies, public flirting at Yahoo! Live/DeafRead, is not so much about seeking intimacy, but rather about developing new friendships or making someone’s day. Those of us who flirt on Yahoo! Live/DeafRead do not always flirt with the intent of assessing potential lifetime partners. Nor do we flirt to have easy, no-strings-attached sex. Most of us who flirt there are not looking for either.
Rather, at Yahoo! Live/DeafRead, flirtation is used as a way to initiate or engage in prolonged interaction and social communication with other d/Deaf, hard of hearing, late-deafened and hearing people. From what I observe, flirtation is used as a liberating form of play that helps us unwind at the end of a long work week. It’s a game with heady suspense and intimate ambiguities that brings joys of its own. For us deafies, flirting on Friday nights at Yahoo! Live/DeafRead is a way to regularly share time, space, smiles and belly laughs with d/Deaf/HH/Late-Deaf and Hearing friends, new and old.
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Left by DeafPulse.com - the one-stop pulse for all Deaf-related news and blogs. on May 26th, 2008
I don’t really see it. Whatever skills you learn via texting and vblogs, won’t work face to face via sign language. Online is overrated I feel as a real one on one communication tool for l’amore ! It’s a bit like FAcebook and Bebo where all sorts of claims are made about how ’social’ yhe whole thing is. IN perspective Ioffer this joke from a Brit paper,it goes;
Man talking woman to impresss, “I have over 5 HUNDRED friends on Facebook…”
Woman, “That’s because they have never met you in person…”
It’s not sex is it ? it’s text
“We love you for your mind ?”, erm so having no teeth, bad Body Odor, and being a bag lady doesn’t count ?
When the perfect man met the perfect woman, she didn’t like his face….
Left by MM on May 26th, 2008
HI MM.
I appreciate your perspective. But I’m not talking about flirting for sex. I’m not talking about flirtation to hook up. I’m talking about what I see on Yahoo! Live/DeafRead chatroom. Diverse people using flirtation as a way to break the ice, initiate conversation and engage in prolonged social interaction over time. So I think we’re describing 2 different things. I absolutely agree with you, however, in that 1:1 communication for l’amore is hands-down the way to flirt! But again, I was describing a form of conversation, not hook up.
Thanks for your comment.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on May 26th, 2008
I just think these ‘relationships’ go nowhere really. Does ‘Deaf’ flirting differ from Hearing ? May I take this opportunity to say I admire your dress, and you’ve SUCH a lovely smile…are all Americans as pretty as you are ?
Left by MM on May 26th, 2008
Hi MM.
I’m not sure if you were talking about how other people dish out compliments as a form of flirtation or if you were offering some to me. If you were talking to me, then thank you for those compliments. It’s interesting to see you talk about my “lovely smile,” how I dress and that I am pretty. I had to giggle. This is a form of flirtation. It’s a comfortable way to initiate conversation or continue prolonged interaction. This is what my post was about and you’re just modeled an example. Smile.
I believe the ‘relationships’ we form online do take a form of their own. I think they satisfy needs we have at certain times in our lives. For me, the silliness of flirtation has been extremely enjoyable and ultimately relaxing. Chatting with my Deaf peeps online has become a way to develop new friendships. I respectfully disagree with you in that I believe these ‘relationships’ in the Deaf community actually do evolve into some kind of friendship eventually. Some have even become enemies. They do take on a life of their own.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and comments with me.
Smile.
~ LaRonda
Left by LaRonda on May 27th, 2008