Teri discusses the trend in disrespecting elders nowadays — in a response to a deaf elder blogger's post, "Pet Peeves? Suggestions?" on her blog site, "My World . . . at a Glance".
Note: Part Two- Zen Story will be posted sometime tomorrow. It's kind of late — past midnight and I need to get some rest.
Someone emailed me to give a friendly feedback — telling me that I appear to be too close to the camera. Yes, he was right. I was surprised how did it turn out, because I used the different system and the display showed I was in the frame. Weird!
Sorry if it's a bad shot.
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June 29th, 2007 at 7:04 am
Yes, I did notice the lack of respect from younger commenters on Lois’ vlog…
I have high regard for elders… they have more experiences than us and they have experienced more joys and sorrows. We did not live in 1930’s, 1940’s and 1950’s and some parts of 1960’s (I was born in 1960) and the elders know more about the history. I enjoyed listening to Lois’ stories with her father helping her becoming aware of her deafness and how she could “get” around her deafness… wonderful parents she must have had.
My father, who is 71 years old, is an elder and I have high regard for him (he will be getting married in California in a few weeks and I will be meeting many elders there :o) ) All the stories he tells… his Navy stories, his WW2 stories (in which his older brothers served… one of his bro was one of the bands who liberated one concentration camp and he never got over it), the pig bay situation (cuba, during Kennedy presidency), etc. Recently he is disappointed with the lack of respect from younger generations, he places blame on the parents and government. Yet at the same time he says long ago, in China, if taking care of elders became too much, the youngers would carry the elders off to a remote spot and leaving them to die there.
In 1980’s I worked at Vegetarian Hotel in Woodridge, NY (Catskill Mts.) where a lot of elders spend the summers there and I did meet a lot of wonderful people there. A 80 year old dancing instructor (I learned Cha-Cha, fox trot, etc. from her… who turned the radio’s volume all the way up, shrugging, saying that old people were deaf like me, ha…; a 60 year old massenger who kept trying to get me to come to his room so that he could do Swedish massage and I kept refusing; a former holocaust Jewish couple who would show me their tattoos and tell me not to let anything happen to anyone like it happened to them; etc. I walked on the elderly couple having sex… (I was a chambermaid, so I cleaned the rooms.) I reliezed elderly couple DID have SEX!!!! “chuckling at my igorance”.
Elders are just like us… they only have more years and experiences on them and we would do them a great favor by listening to them… whether we agree or disagree.
June 29th, 2007 at 8:44 am
It reminds me of Tim rarus went protest for DPN in 1988 and his grandfather disagree him doing that but afterward his grandfather realized it was worthwhile. They both still respect each other anyhow.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:31 am
One thing that stood out among Lois is that obviously she is a very strong woman to begin with. I was amazed because she was courageous to publish all the comments (both negative and positive ones), for me if I got a lot of negative comments and I was moderating them, I would not have published them and deleted them.
Of course, she did not deserve to be bashed or whatever, I agree and she should get the respect but we can respectfully disagree with her and give out constructive comments.
June 29th, 2007 at 10:38 am
Teri,
Thanks for bringing it up. We as others said, must respect elders. I must admit that at first I watched her vlog abt pet pevees, I was upset but I choose to watch it all. At the end, I did smile and understand her a little more about her growing up stories. I remember my beloved grandma and I disagreed several times in the past but we remained close till she passed away. Just like Tim Rarus talked and disagreed with his grandpa and they still talked to each other. That is respectful.
Thanks for reminding us to respect others even we disagree. It is hard. I do wonder what will happen to Ridor when he becomes 40 or 50 years old.
June 29th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Hi, Teri,
It is so nice to hear someone else like you to speak up for the elders. I always protect them. They indeed have interesting stories that they may pass them to us… It is considered a gem; a story from them.
Thanks again, deafk
June 29th, 2007 at 10:57 am
Aidan is at it again. She has a vlog on the same topic. I can see it clearly that she wants to put you down. She seems to feel hateful toward you. It is so obvious that she does not understand your message clearly. She repeats your message. You discuss two-way respect between young people and elders, and we need to understand elders why they have different perspectives. We live in a different generation. We are always told to respect elders and authorities no matter what, as long as they show respect. Young people means from childhood to maturity. Elders means beyond maturity and onward. Young people and elders mean ALL of us in the world. Aidan, quit jerking around.
June 29th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Thanks for doing this Vlog. I wrote a long message on Lois’ Vlog but I was timed-out.
I wanted to THANK Lois for being so honest and brave in sharing her viewpoints. My deaf grandparents did have those thoughts, too. They saw me growing up in the Deaf school. They acknowledged that I was fortunate having sign language at school. Off I went and got master degree, they of course were so proud of me. And, we had many discussions about ASL and Bilingual education. They slowly understood and claimed that it’s the “SYSTEM” that failed many deaf people. My grandfather was the Oral failure - he was very bitter about it. At the end, he was at the peace with his great life.
With the reading, I wanted to mention that I do flip through the picture books even thro I am in 40’s. The pictures are too tempting for me to NOT flip through the book. The illustrations in the books are gorgeous!
And, of course I started reading the book. I think Lois meant that she saw deaf students flipping through and NOT read the book itself. I pray everyday that our deaf children will read MUCH better than our time. There are so many people who cannot read (including hearing people). I have encountered with many hearing people who cannot read my simple request on the paper at resturants and stores.
Deaf as Dead - I do see it sometimes, and I don’t feel attacked because it’s the human error. ‘F’ is right next to ‘D’ on the keyboard, and it sounds same. I’m very positive that the person who wrote/typed never meant ‘dead’ at first place.
Lois, BRAVO!!! I’m in awe of your bravery! I have some issues to discuss, but I’m terrified to share it on the Vlog. Maybe you’ll rub your bravery on me - maybe I will do it in the future. Smile!
Have a wonderful day!!
June 29th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
People can disagree, even with their elders, but it has to be done in a respectful manner. That’s the key. I disagree with my mother all the time, but we hold respectful discussions, and listen to each other’s viewpoints, then see why we disagree.. then if possible, reach a compromise or understanding. If we can’t, then we just agree to disagree.
June 29th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
It brought me back to memory of seeing the movie by Al Gore, “An Incovenient Truth” At the every end of the movie, AL said the most important question; the kids would ask, “Why didn’t our parents do something?”
Who are we? We, parents or elders, especially Americans and the rich nations have been neglecting the cause and effort of the global warmth. The youngsters are aware of that and facing it. We all as elders would say, “Slow down …. don’t be scared, everything is alright …. stay positive and be wise …. you go too far”, etc.
I have not seen Lois’s vlog or blog but I will look for it. I am not a parent or don’t have a child of my own. I may not have a better insight but I can see it coming as I get older. It seems out of control; each generation changes faster and faster and the gap gets wider and wider.
Something will happen down the road, for better or worst, not in the between. Either way, we will have a better technology the will solve many problems in environment, economy, education, and exchange or we will have a nightmare unless we see a sign from the sky as prophets have said.
While we wait, we ought do something now. I like the idea of two-way respect. The have seen some good bunches of kids and groups of us elders with an open minds. I believe in socialism and stay in democracy, save our earth and fight back crimes of those greedy seeking for more while making the other less to meet basic need. Computer can be our police, keep tracking of everything in control. We all know that we can stop evil but we can minimize it.
The kids will have their turns when they get older, taking over with their computer back up or something beyond the wonder of future technology.
Mix with one other, learn about one other, and then love one other.
June 29th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Opps! I mean we can can’t stop evil… (typo)
June 29th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Teri, I understand your perspective but nevertheless, I cannot abide by that.
The elders are the product of what is wrong with our society. Global warming, laws, insurance premiums, conflicts across the planet as well as Deaf Education.
The elders left their marks in state of sorry mess for the youngsters like us to clean up.
And their perspectives are generally flawed and we should respect them for that? No, not necessary.
Some will argue that these racists, misogynists, homophobic, xians, xenophobes et al had more experiences than us who are more enlightened and educated therefore they should run things better than us. To me, that is why the world is totally $#&%ed.
For once, stand up for what is right. These misguided fools do not deserve our respect. One has to look at Afghanistan, 9/11, Africa, Middle East, Balkan States and yes, our deaf communities to understand that these elders contributed a great deal of passive-aggressive problems to the society.
So I rather to nail them rather than to respect them just because they are elders.
R-
June 29th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
“France has its own 100 percent French sign language which includes full language in comparison I don’t see ASL owns Full native sign language that belongs to America not borrowing from other native countries.”
From A Deaf Pundit blog
It is very interesting what the commentor said. I have nothing say…..
June 29th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
It is me. again. I came back indoor for a little break from painting and read mine. Gee, I made many misspelling, like the for they, can can’t, and so forth. Hope you could read and knew what I meant.
I paint greatly but am lousy with proofreading _ oh well.
I dig your vlogs!
Cheers!
June 29th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
Teri,
You and your husband, Bill McDonald, have won my respect to the high mountain! Bill’s response goes to show that his logic is very tangible and stringent where some people, alas, lack thereof. Your children will be eternally grateful to their parents for being the people of high principle accompanied by their deep sense of ethics. I realise that classical education, including Aristotle’s “Nicomachean Ethics” that I studied at St. Francis Xavier’s , is not offered in residential schools for the deaf.
Philosopher Socreates was murdered by the uncivilised who wanted him to be silenced. Histiory repeats.
Albeit in disagreement, it is a matter of respect. History repeats for those who have failed to reason.
June 29th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
ChrisH, that commenter was wrong.
Every language borrows something from another language. But that’s not even the point of this blog!
June 29th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
I don’t believe what A Deaf Pundit said. You already commenter your blog.
June 29th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
I don’t exactly understand what are you trying to say, ChrisH. But if you have a problem with me, don’t start it here on Teri’s blog. She doesn’t deserve that. E-mail me or leave a comment on MY blog.
June 29th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Teri,
Kudos to you for standing up for all of us. I am in total agreement with you we must show respect for both groups, youngs and elders.
You nailed it on the head telling us that we need to understand both perspectives; youngs and elders. It does not mean we must agree with everyone. We must show respect for everyone especially old people. They live longer and have more experience than us.
You speak for all of us from children to adults to elders.
June 30th, 2007 at 9:22 am
We all can agree to disagree. However verbally abusing a person is appalling and I noticed a few of our famous bloggers did indeed verbally abuse Louis. We need to learn to respect people regardless of their viewpoints and learn from each other.
We need to be life long learners on our journey here on earth.
Peace to all
June 30th, 2007 at 5:54 pm
hello, i would like to ask a question for everyone, do we have respect for saddam hussien, and other evils ? he and others didnt respect the people’s way of life. i just wonder.
June 30th, 2007 at 8:43 pm
Hi all,
Did not I mention two-way respect? I never said we must OBEY elders.
I suggest we ought to respect elders by understanding their perspective — taking in theirs. It is really hard for them to feel us ( young people), because they are not “living” in our time. We do not have to learn and practice what they do. We just need to learn to listen and UNDERSTAND. That way we can either agree or disagree.
Simply put, understanding does not mean we must follow or obey.
Young people and elders … it means the whole population! Duh!
Funny thing . . .
Every time I express my high level thoughts justifying something in ASL , I end up not being well received. A lot of misunderstandings. I notice whenever I share my deep thoughts, I tend to use ASL with its English grammar, and spell some certain big words. That makes me sign clumsily a little bit , AND many of you perceive them wrong.
Whenever I want to think beyond societal norms and ask simple questions, I must pause and think how do I express them — what audience, what language, and how should I deliver — to prevent great misunderstandings. Often, I tell them however I feel like.
As I said on my previous blog, many of you either understand or misunderstand — of those who misunderstand, they often contributes toward the ambiance of misunderstanding. Sometimes they become deliberately antagonistic, however, they also can be unwitting at times.
June 30th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
*waving* with both hands for you, and the rest. I hope Lois deserves an apology note from a few bloggers who insulted her terribly bad. I hope some mean bloggers’ grandparents will read this someday. Or even their Deaf parents .. who knows …..
Even I am in 40’s, I was insulted by some bloggers too .. I felt ugh … even he or she disagrees with my perspective. People are complicated . Sigh It is sad.
I respect you and your large family because I was raised in a large family too. I may not like your some of your topics but still I respect you no matter what. Thanks for joining us to discuss this matter. I hope this will stop one day. Respect is very important.
June 30th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Teri, I for one understood and agreed with what you were saying. I saw Lois’ vlog, and while I didn’t agree with everything she said, I thought she had a point on several issues. And she’s also older, and comes from a different time and place… so we have to understand that part - just like you said!
I think some just don’t understand because some of us see only what we *want* to see, unfortunately. Don’t let the misunderstandings or deliberately antagonistic comments get to you too much.